I roll over on to my belly. All of a sudden, I’m awake. Something isn’t right and isn’t because I have to pee. I lift my head to get some bearings. I’m in the dame’s bed, she’s in a pile beside me, snoring. I try to lay my head back down and that’s when I feel it, there in the pillow under my cheek.

    It creeps me out and I thrash at it, “What the hell?!” My fist smashes at it! Now I know what it is. That damn stuffed monkey of hers! Then I hear that sadistic laugh from beside me.

    “Jesus!!” I yell at her.

    “You sap!” she sputters between bursts of teasing laughter. “Did you think it was a tarantula or something, Sherlock?!” She’s having a great time.

    I roll off the bed. “Fuck me!” I’m pissed and now I have to take one.