troysherdahl

a veteran

rarely tells

what war he knows inside

of battles fought

and good friends

lost

all those he saw

that died

serve

your country

fight

for freedom

watch your buddy

die

come home and

have a normal

life

while the young

forget

or never know

why they live

so free

but, no

he won’t tell

too many stories

that are still

his nightmares

however he’ll come

out with his

diminishing forces

wearing ribbons

and a poppy

proud

stoic

with wheelchairs

canes

watering eyes

listen to the bugle

the pipes

then silence

respect him

honor them

remember

tires on boats we know are bumpers

big lights on strings would make Edison proud

though strings don’t touch electricity

and strings catching shrimp should be elementary

the shrimpman’s story is one to know

red tides do flow, dark winds sure blow

and this town of boats with fishing light

fight the night nets with all their might

“Amigo, only footpaths and sandclocks

mothers milk packed in plastic socks

and a big stone cross on a cliff

make us cry.”

a superstitious lot

they curse the strings

and love the knots

work all night, sleep

not yet

but troll the deep

to fill their net

finger-worn rosary beads

a wife and kids

with mouths to feed

“We better scrape the bottom, men

fill our hold

and say, ‘amen’, when

they’re sold.”

tires on boats we know are bumpers

big lights on strings

strings catching things

like pinky-gray Pacific plumpers

“Gracias, God

for Gringos

that love a plateful of shrimp

so I can have a pocketful

of pesos.”

irregardless is not a word

ironic misused by every turd

penultimate IS NEXT TO LAST

ultimate is last— NOT BEST 

but could be MAX or HIGHEST

acute is sharp

chronic is long-lasting

accept or except

neither, notwithstanding

adverse is contrary

while averse, strongly opposed

affect and effect

make me scratch my nose

redundant doesn’t mean useless, goof!

grab a dictionary and see the proof

and, overestimate and underestimate

might cause you some confusion

as will lose-loose,  jive-jibe— allusion and illusion

however,

I assure you that I ensure to insure my car.

I like meat

hey, don’t you?

the fleshy kind

dead-fresh and new

meat is tasty

meat is yum

I like meat

from a steer’s big bum

meat from a pig

is especially sweet

and flesh from the chicken

is fine to eat

meat in a bun

meat on a stick

or in a sauce

I love to lick

meat on a plate

meat in a pie

I’ll eat that meat

until I die

meat comes spicy

packed in a wiener

many are fatty

some are leaner

now meat puppets

may seem obscene

hey, I have one

and it’s real clean!

a vegan says that meat is bad

I love meat

and I think it’s sad

they eat veggies and tofu too

but I’ll get fat

eating dead moo-moo!

I curse at inanimate objects.

I swore at my coffee cup this morning

because it spilled coffee on me.

I curse at inanimate objects.

I work alone and I can do it all the time.

I curse at inanimate objects

because I have no patience for them.

I curse at inanimate objects

because I want to hurt their feelings.

I curse at inanimate objects

because some of them are so stupid.

I curse at inanimate objects

because they can take it.

I curse at inanimate objects

because they disappoint me continuously.

I curse at inanimate objects

because they like to hear the violent tone of those words.

I curse at inanimate objects

because I enjoy swearing?

Because I’m angry?

Because I’m impatient?

    Maybe, because I’m a little bit cuckoo.

Fuckin’ coffee cup!

gears and sprockets

are lucky charms in pockets

chemical vapors

seep out of industrial papers

a golden army of princely pie plates

from red-hot molten tempered weights

deviled egg data dollars

broken brown leather collars

walking blue fake fishes

ectoplasmic puffy dishes

data doodoo Dadaism

sci-fi-religion-schism-ism

inspiration divination

data storms a hungry nation

“What’s up, Pontiac?”

“It’s a techno-aphrodisiac.”

I’ll store my data in a cloud

’cause your screaming streaming’s way too loud!

bionic limbs are biomechanical

computerized flesh is a godless marvel

chips and DNA simmering in a test tube

and

an android stabbed

bleeds jiffy-lube

feet slippin’

back’s jerkin’

coffee spilled on ice

wheels spinnin’

slow drivin’

winter’s fuckin’ nice

south headin’

sun’s shinin’

worth the fuckin’ price

word.

St. Albert colder than a witch’s titty

Jackie Frost, I love this city

wearin’ layers but I’m still chilly

and I’m inside with hands on Willy

watchin’ exhaust vapors hang

through a frosted window pane

Alberta winters can be insane

tires lose air and minds can break

like glass

stick your tongue on that metal pole now

smartass

I gotta start my car

ten spacemen wrote ten spacemen

orbitin’ with the Fisher Space Pen

ten spacemen scribbled ten spacemen

writin’ blue Zen on the moon, friend

space race writin’ stick

so slick in my pocket

it glides and it glows

like a silver rocket

Houston, we have a problem

the Bic’s won’t work up here

the fountain pens don’t either

we can’t write a word, I fear

so NASA makes a pen

to write with upside down

and in the zero gravity

flight motion all around

ten spacemen wrote ten spacemen

orbitin’ with the Fisher Space Pen

ten spacemen scribbled ten spacemen

writin’ blue Zen on the moon, friend

can I get your autograph

on a piece of lunar debris?

that space pen will write in space

the book says so, you see

pressurized capsule ink

drawin’ doodles on a sprocket

it glides and it glows

like a silver rocket

this space race writin’ stick

so slick in my orange pocket

have keyboards all replaced ’em?

I hope not

I wanna go write blue Zen

in a silver rocket

green-blue, green-blue

ain’t it just a gas?

white sand snowjob

is hotter than my ass

sandpaper palm tree

coconuts in hand

ceviche taco on my mind and

look—       it’s a mariachi band!

 
feed me sun and feed me fish

and let me drink your beer

don’t ask and don’t tell

your beautiful bliss

is

here