Tuco takes a bath

waa-aa waa-aa waa!     waa waa waa


civil war cannons

this town is just abandoned

Tuco Ramirez grunts and huh’s?

his eyes dart and he warily whuh’s?

creeping in through bombed out walls

this hotel has rubble in the halls

he gets up to the second floor

opens up the luxury suite door

behind the swinging gates he rubs

the deserted, high-back copper tub

the water is still somewhat tepid

he finds four jars to make his bath all bubbled


Morricone’s score is epic

Leone, he has the magic

Wallach’s face, so comic

is Spaghetti Western classic


Tuco’s nemesis, the one-armed bounty hunter

has seen that Tuco has gone inside to plunder

he follows him in to kill him finally

Tuco oblivious, fingers his teeth all sudsy

one-armed guy comes in a-creeping

Tuco in the tub, grunting and a-cleaning

one-armed guy bursts through swinging doors hot

is Tuco surprised? we see that he’s not

one-arm says, “You’re exactly in the place that suits me.

I had lots of time to learn how to shoot with my left,” see?

Tuco’s gun clicks under suds— a blam! explodes from bubbles

one-armed lefty, back he tumbles

blam! blam! blam! and a fifth to make sure

one-armed hunter has met his maker

naked Tuco standing at the swinging door, mocks

“When you have to shoot, shoot! Don’t talk.”


waa-aa waa-aa waa!     waa waa waa

About troysherdahl

A blue-collar bohemian with a penchant for fine words and dirty jeans.
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